Thursday, July 17

Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage...

Chapter Three: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

In this chapter, Dr. Laura asks the following questions of the reader:

  • What was your biggest surprise to learn about marriage?
  • In what way has marriage made you a better person?
  • What are the benefits of being married vs. being single?

While she was writing this book Dr. Laura posed the above questions to her listeners (both male and female) and got a variety of responses. Of all the responses she shares in this chapter, I chose two (one woman's response and one man's) of my favorites.

"I really feel like I have been given a dream partner to share life with and while that is a gift, it is also a huge responsibility. The desire I have to see my husband happy was surprisingly overwhelming for me, considering that I have always bee a self-focused, depressed person (childhood scars). My problem was a need to have him parent me with daily reassurance. However I could see in his eyes from time to time, a longing for ME to truly KNOW that I was okay so that I could be his peaceful woman and not his anxious little girl. When he was tired and emotionally drained from his workday, I know the last thing he needed was for me to drain whatever drop was left in his emotional tap. That is when the accountability part kicked in: I LOVED HIM SO MUCH THAT I WOULD CHANGE. I started practicing not being in a slump all day and now it has become almost natural!"

***

"One day I was helping a friend build a fence. It was hot and he was down on his knees pouring concrete for the fence post. Our wives were both there. His wife could see that he was hot, she began to fan him with her hand and then she bent over and began to blow on his neck. I was astounded! Where do you find such a woman? Hell would freeze over before my wife would blow on my neck. My wife said that she was doing that just for effect. But I can tell you this - her husband would die for her. And all of his friends wish they could trade him places."

Discussion: How would you answer the questions Dr. Laura asks?

2 comments:

Millie said...

Wow, I love the last example. Two women I know treat their very wonderful husbands quite badly sometimes and I feel sorry for the men - but it also makes me more conscious of the way I treat mine. A good man is worth the extra "work" and the rewards are great.

I've also been reading Fascinating Womanhood and the message is the same.

Millie said...

(long time lurker, by the way)

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